TAGS: 商务 教程 写作 电子商务 我们 来看 邮件 一个 这么 ChenRong
案例分析在学了这么多理论知识后,我来看一个例子。DearSi rs, Yourmessagehasbeenreceived.Thankyou. Itisdifficulttounderstandyourinquiryof56mm8ohmwaterproofspeakerwhichcanhandle102db,becausethroughourvastexperience,itisalmostimpossibleintechnology.Canyousupplyuswithyoursample?Ifso,itwouldbebighelptothisproject. Hopewecouldworktogether. Yoursfaithfully,
很显然,这封邮件有很多缺点,首先语句呆板,严重的“生意腔”使邮件毫无生气。句子长而乱,含义模糊。没有提供足够的资料来支持自己的论点。更糟糕的是,措辞冒昧,极不礼貌。针对这些不足,我们再来看一下另一个版本。
DearMr.Jones: ThankyouforyourinquirydatedApril9. Regardingtheproductyouarelookingfor,currentlyourfactorydoesn'thavetheexactspecificationasyoumentioned.Wewouldappreciateitifyoucouldsupplyusmoredetailsabouttheproductyouneed,suchasusage,productstructure,material,workingconditionandsoon.Thatwillhelpustoseeifweareabletomeetyourspecifications. Pleasetakeamomenttoreviewsomesimilarproductsintheenclosedcatalog.Theyareallofhighqualityandhavebeenexportedtomanycountriesworldwide. Thanksagainandwearelookingforwardtoestablishingabusinessrelationshipwithyourcompanyinthenearfuture. Anyofyourearlycommentswillbehighlyappreciated. Bestregards, ChenRong Director,InternationalMarketing ZhejiangGoldenTextiles
现在您觉得好多了吧!我们说过,即使这次不能满足对方的需求,只要我们处理得当,还是可以保留住潜在合作的机会。有时候,信函的作用就是这么重要。
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